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Something that I am really, really good at.

december 28, 2011

Falling in love. But not in a normal manner. Or what do I know, define the word normal.

I haven’t been in love for a long time now. And it bothers me. I dislike the feeling of not being in love and have someone to think about. and this has always been. Therefore, I have always been in love, about my whole life, as far as I can remember. There is always someone I am paying an extra thought to.

What would now be called abnormal, according to my friends anyway, is that I very often fall in love with celebrities. Often that kind of celebrity that my friends think is ugly or bad. So I often become teased because of that. I’ve always thought that I am so weird who becomes so madly in love with someone I don’t even know, or who don’t even know who I am and that many others also are in love with. Someone who does not even care about my feelings, because he don’t know me. Craziness. I have always considered myself to be a dreamer, but I have always found it strange that just me but nobody else I know gets so uncontrollably in love with someone I have not even met.

But then, a psychology lesson (that sounds bad, but it’s not as bad as it sounds), anyway. I sat and looked through the psychology book and I found a chaptera about love. I began to read and there somewhere among the lines it says.

Often you get much in love with someone you know quite a bit. It may be that the less you know, the more space there is for one’s imagination to give the other person just the features you want him or her to have

So I may not be as weird as everyone thought I was. You can still laugh at me if it amuses you, I don’t care and it has never bothered me. It’s just a shame on you that you even bother strength over which way my feelings decide to go.

Once I wrote a status update on Facebook. I had listened to a song all day, which in Swedish is called En dag att bli kär på, in English it is calles One day to fall in love on. I just wrote the title song on Facebook and a girl in my school commented with ”So which celebrity are you now in love with?” I thought it was pretty funny actually. But that is who I am, and that is why it’s strange that I haven’t been in love since my ex dumped me. I’ve been tasting here and there, of course, but not like that as I am used to. So in love that it hurts. It’s hard to be in love like that, but there’s nothing I’d rather than feel that way to anyone right now..

This post was longer than expected so I give you the second part tomorrow. I need some sleep now.

… Lots of love, Natascha ♥

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